Just some thoughts

Recently Heather wrote a blog post about some things our family has learned recently. I too had some thoughts on that.  Besides learning that Loitton has prostate cancer, we learned that Loitton has been dealing with Afib for probably years, we learned that faith and family get you through everything in life, we learned that some friends are like family and prayers can be felt.  I also learned a few other things.  I learned that when you tell someone you have prostate cancer you DO NOT want to hear that at least that is a good kind of cancer to have.  There is NO good kind.  I learned that you do not want to have to wait in a doctor's office for 1 and 1/2 hours before being seen.  You do not want to get to the doctor's office for the results of a biopsy and be told that they do not have your results after waiting 10 days.  You are also do not want to have to waits weeks more before being seen by an oncologist. 

On a bright side, you do like to receive encouraging emails, text messages and pictures ...pictures with no words but pictures that speak volumes.  You also like to encounter "angels" .  The day we went to the hospital for Loitton to have his bone scan and CT scan, a lady touched his shirt and told him "good luck and God bless you".  A woman we do not know, have never seen and will never see again.  I like to think an angel.  On that same day as we waited for him to have his scans, another "angel" passed me an envelope and told me that she wanted me to read the contents when I got home.   Minutes later, she asked me to step in the hall and she said I want you to know my paycheck comes from this hospital but I work for a higher Being.  She said she was compelled to encourage me and at that point shared the results of one of the scans with me.  She said our family deserved some good news.  So many times that day we were touched by very special people and text messages.  How awesome. 

We are only beginning this journey but I know God loves us and has plans for us.  I know we will have challenging days, sad days, days where all of this still seems like a bad dream...but I am trusting that we will have many bright days.  Please pray for us and pray that God will sustain us as only God can!         

Tough few weeks

Faith makes all things possible.... love makes all things easy.  That's all I got and that's all I need!!!

F.a.m.i.l.y

Having a place to go - is a home. Having someone to love - is a family. Having both - is a blessing. ~Donna Hedges

I experienced the "blessing" this past weekend.  Our family, minus Kyle and Hunter, decided to turn our annual apple picking trip into a full weekend in the mountains.  What a great decision on our part.  Loitton and I even extended the weekend an extra day and went on Thursday.  We arrived in the mountains of North Carolina, picked up the keys to our house and headed up the moutain to find it.  When we arrived we just stood on the front porch and tried to take in the breath taking view.  Heather did a great job of finding a very special house to accomodate our family.  Loitton and I had dinner and then headed back to the house to enjoy an evening of just the two of us.  We always enjoy and value our time together however we both look forward to our children and grandchildren being with us.  They arrived on Friday evening and we all settled in for a night of family and catching up.  

Saturday we got up and had a great a breakfast.  One thing about our family is we love cooking together and everyone chips in.  Some of the family picks at Owens and won't allow him to cook grits any more however I would eat his grits if he fixed them :)  True Mother's love!  We then ventured out and took a nature walk and visited Chimney Rock and all the little shops there.  Loitton and I wanted to take Morgan Kate for an ice cream cone and just the basics of eating ice cream together as a family was so much fun.  Saturday evening we grilled some delicious steaks with the trimmings and then just hung out.  We even managed to get in a little "training session" on Instagram and Heytell.  We always laugh about feeling like "The Waltons" when it comes to bed time.  We all go around telling each other good night, we love you and lights out.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the Waltons, that was their nightly routine.    

Sunday was our apple picking day.  We go to Sky Top Orchard.  We love taking our picture each year with the measuring stick so we can see how much Morgan Kate has grown.  One thing that we have learned from our annual trips is do not go to the far end of the orchard, pick all your apples and then have to carry them back up the huge hill to pay for them.  This year, we let Morgan Kate pick a few and then we just waited until we got back to the main shed and bought our apples.  Smart move on our part!

As we parted ways to head home on Sunday afternoon, Loitton was just so sure I was going to cry...I normally do when I leave my children.  This time, my heart was just so full and content with love that all I could do was smile and talk about going back again next year.  I love that our children will take the time to spend a weekend with us....may I never take that for granted.  Until next year. 

Getting older and not so crazy about it

I haven't blogged in while.  Not because I don't like doing it but because the days are literally slipping by.  The days turn into weeks which turn into months and here I am 4 months later attempting to write.

In Isaiah 46:3-4, scripture says "I have created you and cared for you since you were born. I will be your God through all your lifetime, Yes, even when your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you."   With such good hairdressers these days, I'm not sure about the hair white with age, but I know that God will be with me all of my lifetime and take care of me for all of my days.

I have been thinking about age or getting older a good bit lately.  I have always thought that I never "felt my age".  I have always thought I was pretty active, played hard, and tried to stay in fairly good shape.  I have loved that feeling.  Well recently things have changed somewhat.  I have been struggling with my hands....lots of pain and not the strength I am used to having.  I finally decided to go to the doctor and have things checked out.  Convinced I either had carpal tunnel or a torn ligament of some sort.  I go, have an xray and wait for the results.  The doctor actually called me with the results and said it with neither of those things.  It was arthritis!  In that moment I felt old as dirt.  Arthritis...isn't that an old persons problem, not mine.  She said it was from the "wear and tear" on your body.  Wear and tear!  Heck had I known I would pay like this for playing hard I might not would have played so hard.   I mean when you are younger you are encouraged to be active, play sports, enjoy life but no one tells you you might pay for it later in life.  As I started to read about arthritis, it stated that this particular kind shows up in women around the age of 55.  BINGO!  For the next four days I am exactly that.   Then I got sad thinking if I hurt this bad at 55, what the heck will 56 bring! 

I have finally put on my big girl panties and realized that no matter what the age of 56 brings, I will have my God, my family and my friends right beside me.  Even though I might be "feeling my age"
I am determined to press through the pain and not let it get the best of me.  My mom has been dealing with arthritis for many years and I rarely hear her complain about it so hopefully I will follow in her footsteps!   Here's to turning another year older. 
  

Just a plain ole good day!

Over the last few weeks or maybe even longer, my hubby and I have been talking (or wishing) about a new boat.  One that was bigger.  One that would accomodate our family better.  One that even our moms would enjoy.  One where we could just kick back and relax.  Friday morning we ventured out for the boat search!  Our intent was to find a good used one, if there was such a thing.  We went to several places and we found ones that peaked our interest but none that just knocked our socks off.  We would leave each dealership and discuss the boat, the pros and cons, and we were okay with some of the ones we saw.  However early afternoon came and we were beginning to get hungry and tired.  I suggested we have lunch, regroup, and hopefully find other boat places.  Luck has it or I like to think it was a God thing...we got turned around trying to find the place we wanted to eat.  As we were driving Loitton noticed another boat dealership.  He turned to me and said I just think this is going to be the place!  We are going to pull up, see a boat we both like, and buy it.  I chuckled and commented that sure would be nice but I'm not counting on it.  We got out and started to look around.  I immediately saw one I liked and almost at the same exact time he was saying he saw one he liked.  As you can guess, we saw a boat that we both liked!  Woohoo.  We got the salesman to let us get on it and check it out.  Loitton only had two criteria for a boat and this boat had both.  My only critera was something big enough for all my children and grandchildren.  This boat had it all!  It was a big decision so we thought we needed a little time to think about it.  We went to grab a bite to eat.  As we sat there we found ourselves hurrying - we wanted to get back to that boat dealership.  We decided to take a leap of faith and buy it!  It will be in our possession on Thursday and we can hardly wait.  When we have looked back on Friday we just keep thinking to ourselves boy it was just a plain ole good day!  Time together, lunch, found a boat, and lots of laughter.  We look forward to so many more good ole days ahead.             

Tradition

I am the type that loves tradition....things that start and become part of your life and things that you look forward to doing each and every year. Our Spring Banquet at our church is one of those traditions. I started years ago inviting Heather to go with me. It was an opportunity for she and I to spend time together. Spend time together in a room full of Christian women, hearing a Christian message and participating in a mission. From there I invited two of her best friends that have been life long friends. These girls are like my own. I even remember one year getting a Mother's Day card from one of these sweet girls. I still have it to this day as a keepsake of Raven's thoughts and feelings. She may not even remember it but I will never forget it.

In more recent years I included Trenholm...even before she was my daughter in love :) She recently told me how much she looks forward to it and that it is a tradition to her as well. Well Tuesday night, I met the girls and we attended the Spring Banquet. The food was good, the speaker was inspiring and the fellowship superb! The message that night was about finding joy in your darkest moments. I think each of us that night could feel God tugging at our hearts and tugged He did.

Each year they have a door prize. And for the record Trenholm has gotten the door prize at our table for the last four years! I don't care if it goes to the person with the birthday closest to the day of the event or being the youngest at our table, she has received it. I love it!

As the program ended we had to of course get a few pictures. One of these days I will learn how to add a picture to my post :) We then headed out however we ended up in the parking lot talking. I might add that the fellowship time in the parking lot was just as enjoyable as the banquet. Thank you sweet girls for coming (especially on a week night) and sharing your time with me. I love each and every one of you! Until next year.

Spontaneous visit

A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend. That quote whose author is unknown could have been a quote that I masterminded. After all I have a daughter who was my little girl and has grown up to be my friend.

This morning when I woke up I had a longing to spend some time with Heather. I knew Morgan Kate had not been feeling well and that Heather was home with her today. I waited until I thought they might be up and called to check on them. In the conversation I sort of invited myself to theihr house..heck I did invite myself. Probably the quickest shower I took and then headed out. On the way to meet up with them, I reflected on how fortunate I am to have a daughter. I love my sons dearly but girl time is so special to me. We met up and did a little shopping, had a leisure lunch, and then went to Heather's house. Morgan Kate was too cute. She gave me a tour of their home as if I had never been there. She showed me where to find the snacks, where to find her bedroom, her mommy's bedroom and my bedroom. As she took a nap (or at least a little rest) Heather and I spent some time sipping coffee in the back yard. We laughed, we cried and she let me share with her some things that you can only tell your best friend. We even enjoyed God's beauty in the birds singing and a woodpecker hard at work. We laughed and thought of my "daughter in love" Trenholm. That in itself is an inside joke that brought us to laughter. Time slipped away and the afternoon was gone. I had to head home. When I leave her house most of the time I get in the car and listen to the radio. Not today. I just thought back on my spontaneous visit to see my daughter. I thought back on the afternoon of laughter and tears and thought to myself what a wonderful way to spend the day. I am already looking forward to the next time we can get together. I love you Skeeta.

Acts of kindness

After my daddy died in 1989, I would go to church each Sunday and watch another family in our congregation and long to be like them again. By that I mean before my daddy's death, our family would sit together in church as a family unit....my daddy, my mom, and my family. I loved it. After his death, we stil sat in our same spot. Baptist are like that. They find a seat and claim it as their own. (haha) Any way, I would sit there each Sunday and my mind would wander and my eyes would focus on this particular family. This other family consisted of a daddy, a mom, a daughter and all of her family. A family just like ours. I longed for that closeness, that feeling of family, I missed my daddy putting his arm around me, and I missed the excitement that came with my children siting with their grandparents in church.

From those moments in church I developed a friendship with a very special person. When this man and I would make eye contact in church I would wave to him from the balcony of our church (he sat downstairs). He would actually wait after church until I came downstairs to speak to me in person. He eventually joked with my mom about wanting to adopt me. I would chuckle to myself because little did he know of all the days that I sat there wishing my daddy were still alive and envying his family for just being able to sit in church together. Knowing that his family had the same closeness as mine. Knowing that his daughter loved having him put his arm around her in church just like my daddy would do. Knowing that his grandchildren were excited about sitting with their grandparents in church and sneaking candy.

This man is also known for his kind deeds. Deeds that at times go unnoticed because he does them not for the attention but because he has a heart of gold. Many many times while dining out the waitress will come to us at the end of the meal and say that our bill has been taken care of. I know exactly who has done it. The gentle giant who I call my friend. Right now he is battling cancer and it hurts to the core to know the battle ahead of him. It hurts to know how hard he will have to fight. The amazing thing is that while he is battling this demon, he is still thinking of others, still doing for others and still putting smiles on the faces of so many, especially mine! I wish you strength and courage Mr. Sharpton!

Overcoming challenges

I sat here today in my living room...Christmas tree down, decorations down and everything back in place just like it was prior to Christmas. My mind wandered and filled with so many thoughts. I honestly felt so blessed at that moment to just be here. Prior to Christmas I had not been feeling all that great. I made excuses for the discomfort I was experiencing and kept thinking it would get better. Then bang! Loitton and I were shopping in Target and I had a crushing feeling hit me in the chest. I honestly felt like I was going to pass out. It was the pain and feeling similar to what I felt when I broke my foot. So naturally I thought no big deal - it will pass. All throughout that weekend I had discomfort but again I convinced myself it was a pulled muscle or something minor. Monday morning I am at work and that crushing feeling strikes again! I try walking around hoping it would help. I called and went to the doctor. By the time I got to the office, my BP was very high and my EKG was irregular. I was immediately sent to the hospital for further tests. Thank goodness for nitrogylcerin tablets! Never taken one before and hope to never take one again but for that moment I was thanking God for that small tablet. The pain was instantly gone! After lots of tests, it was determined my heart is good and I couldn't be happier. I am on meds for the BP. Swore I would never take meds for that but lesson learned is never say never! Another lesson I am going to have to learn is how to let some things go and not stress! So much easier said than done.

I have certainly had time to reflect on what was a scary time for me. As scared as I was I knew that I know and love my God and trust that when my time comes He will carry me home but I just kept thinking not now! Please not now.

2011 was a challenging year for me. For the first time in the history of our firm, we had to lay employees off. Employess that were friends - tough stuff! In March my boss and friend died. We had enjoyed a working relationship since 1980. I was crushed! I had to overcome and adjust to a "new normal". I gained a new boss (although I had worked with him for just as many years). We had to find a way to press on. Unfortunately in September, due to financial struggles, we closed the firm. I was crushed again! I honestly thought of my job as family and it was like another huge loss in my life. Again, I had to overcome my fears and press on. I am now working for another engineering firm but change is hard at times and it is taking time to adjust. Our family has experienced sadness and hurt in 2011. I am trying to overcome that and praying that other family members are getting stronger and fighting hard on their battles.

We have however experienced some wonderful things in 2011. I gained a daughter in April when Owens, our middle child, got married. She is the love of his life and I couldn't be happier. I also gained a new "niece in love" when my nephew got married. Another niece got engaged as well as a nephew. Our family is growing in leaps and bounds. And to top it off we also have new babies....Reid, Addison, Abigail and Zoe. Whew - I sure hope I am not overlooking anyone or anything. Although all of these are exciting events some brought their own challenges but we overcame!

I think I have always been the type of person that saw a glass half full, not empty! So as I move into 2012 I want my glass to be half full. I don't want to take life for granted. I don't want to allow stress to get the best of me. I don't want to allow circumstances to get the best of me. I do want to continue to focus on God, my family and my friends. After all those are what really count. Happy 2012!